Think about it. Everyone has someone they go to when, well, when life just gets to be too much. When things feel too crowded, too far away, too disconnected or, just plain too much. But where do ‘they’ go? Who can they turn to?
You can’t go to the people you listen to: nine times out of ten it becomes a contest of who had the worse day, the worse week, the worse life. That isn’t the point of it at all. You listened to them because they are friends and you genuinely wanted to help. Yet, once things got to be a little much and you tested them with something small, a minor bit of bad news, a sample disappointment…yup. That’s when the stories starts. That’s when you hear about how much better your life is, or how much worse their day was.
And you are back to listening and comforting them. So, you move on. Which also doesn’t help, since you’re made to feel that you’ve committed some cardinal sin for not taking the superficial help they offered.
You don’t want to find that one true and genuine person who does want to listen and constantly dump on them. You’ll burn them out, especially if the proverbial shit storm cascades in the space of a weekend. Did you plan for everything outside of your control, namely family and the lives of others, to go haywire all at the same time? Of course not. But then, it wouldn’t be life if things happened any other way.
Blasting your business on Facebook or any other social networking sites seems to be the cure of the day. But that’s just…not helpful. Because now, you get outsiders who don’t truly know you from Adam giving you THEIR take on how your life/problem/situation is so much easier than theirs, and you’re back to square one. This time, you have the added boost of advice from people so screwed up, they BELIEVE half of the crap posted as facts.
So what to do?
You tell someone your mother just took a horrible fall and now looks like she went ten rounds with Tyson: THEY don’t even have a mother.
You explain to another that you’re worried about finances: THEY have to work three jobs to keep a loaf of bread in the house.
Your confide that your sister just got diagnosed with cancer: THEY have it.
This isn’t a contest for who has been fucked over by life more than everyone else. All you want is someone to wrap their arms around you. A minute to not be the ‘go to’ person, a chance to step out of the psychiatrist role and scream, if only for a minute.
Instead, I take a breath, type the words and prepare to listen once again.
Life is good. It’s not always fair, and sometimes it really sucks ass, but at the end of the day, if you’re still able to take a breath, type the words and prepare to listen once again, I guess it can’t be all that bad.
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