When I first started this journey to become an author, I knew it was not going to be an easy path. Nothing worthwhile is ever truly easy. It takes courage and a whole lot of determination to bring an idea to the light of day. Are there days when I have doubts and second guess everything? Yes. Now there is even a name for it: Imposter Syndrome.

If you look it up, the phrase was first coined in 1982. So does that mean that before GenXers hit the scene, people just trusted themselves and their abilities?

For those who aren’t familiar with it, imposter syndrome is basically the fear that a person’s skills, abilities, or even qualifications just aren’t quite enough. Or worse, the debilitating apprehension that you’ll be exposed as a fraud and all accolades will somehow by taken away by unknown and nefarious forces.

I know, I know. It sounds so ridiculous when said aloud, but that doesn’t make it any less true. And knowing how crazy it sounds doesn’t make you dismiss it. It is terrifying real, and it creeps up when you least expect it. One moment, you’re creating. New worlds are exploding onto the page and nothing stops the ideas. Then, without warning, a voice whispers in your ear, the icy words stealing the fire from your blood.

Didn’t someone else already do this? Didn’t they do it better? Are you sure that’s the right word? You didn’t sell any books last week; why keep trying?

It’s no joke. Then, to try and distract yourself, you decide to “take a break” and check your socials. And like toxic gasoline on the dumpster fire that is your mind, your self-esteem vanishes in a towering plume of flaming anxiety. Tons of fun, huh?

How do I get through it?

Actually, I’m still trying to figure this one out. I hike with my husband, get out in nature of a break. I distract myself with movies. (In fact, as I write this, I’m watching some Godzilla movie from the early 90s. It’s still from Toho Studios, so it counts.) I send out bits to my beta readers with fingers crossed that it really doesn’t suck as much as those hateful fears are telling me. Sometimes I go back and reread my previous stories. I say it’s for research to make sure I’m keeping the continuity straight, but it’s more to remind myself that I’ve done this before. And I’m not half bad at it.

Whether you create professionally, or just dabble in any art to make yourself happy, never lose sight of your passion. Because it is our ability to create something from just our own imagination that proves we are not imposters. As it was said so beautifully by Gene Wilder—though penned by poet Arthur O’Shaughnessy, “We are the music makers, and we are the dreamers of dreams.”

So with those words, I continue to hold tight to my dreams…and keep writing for another day.